"He-Man Woman Haters Club"

"I... do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to." ~Little Rascals

From a young age ,children know what they want. Girls want to play with dolls and guys want to play with trucks. And under no circumstance do they want to play with each other. This is obviously a general assumption, so there are exceptions. From my experience, I have noticed that the kids I babysit are just drawn to their gender associated toys. Now is this a bad thing? Are we as parents assuming their gender and basing how they act on their gender. The answer is yes. As parents, you respond based on your child's need. If the only way they will stop crying is to give them a blanket, then, by golly, you're gonna give them a blanket. If your little boy gets really happy when you throw him in the air, then you are going to throw him in the air. People think that the parents need to train their kids, but the kids are silently teaching us.
In Little Rascals, the whole movie is about how the boys hate the girls and the girls hate the boys. Darla herself asked, "why are boys such jerks?" The guys invent an entire club to show how much they hate woman. In no way would a parent agree to this sexist club if they were older. They would just assume that their boys are going through a stage that most boys go through at that age. Later in life, they will be infatuated by girls and everything will work out. But how do you suppose a child who doesn't know their gender is going to grow up? When the kid asks the mom "am I a boy or a girl," then the parent responds, "what do you feel like you are sweetie?" Do you see how confusing that could be? How is the child ever going to understand gender if he or she is never taught. It is the parents job to teach their children good from bad, moral values, and yes, their gender. When did we start believing that telling a child what gender they were was inconceivable.
I know this is a very controversial topic, male and female roles are said to be equal. As women, we fought so hard to become equal to our male counterpart. But are we really equal? We were created to be different and possess qualities that are unique compared to males. Can we as woman run as fast as man? Are we able to lift as much as males? Do we have great sense of direction as man? No, our mile times are different, they can lift more, and the have a better directional self. But are males able to pick up on non-verbal cues as well as woman are? Are they able to feel and relate to others as well as woman are? Do males have the natural qualities that woman have to lead? Now these are all generalizations, but hopefully I got the point across. We as males and females will never be equal. We do not possess the same qualities to be equal, but that is not a bad thing. We can use the qualities we have to affect change. 
Now I will leave you with a quote from the Little Rascals. "Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! ~Love Alfalfa

Tradition Tradition...Tradition!

When I was in seventh grade, I got the opportunity to perform in a musical called Fiddler on the Roof. If you have ever seen the musical, one of the songs performed is called Tradition. In that song, they talk about each member of the family's role. The point being made that the roles are changing and their traditions, that they have long held so close, have begun to fall away. This really affected the parents as they had to stand by and watch everything they believed in changing, but the children saw the situation differently. They couldn't understand why the parents didn't understand them. See, the parents felt like their traditions were going to be lost. Traditions are sort of like our identity, it is what makes us unique. Traditions are a family's culture. So, in what ways do traditions define the family? Which traditions do we decide to carry on and which we do we leave as part of our past?
Around the same time I was in the musical, I met my future brother-in-law. Whether this came about because of the musical or not, I'm not quite sure, but whenever he sees me, he spreads his arms out wide and sings "REBECCA, REBECCA...REBECCA" (to the tune of Tradition from Fiddler on the Roof.) Though ridiculous, this greeting always brightens my day. After time, this greeting became a sort of tradition. Now whenever I see him, it feels weird when he doesn't sing at me. This is just an example of a funny tradition that I have, but there are other traditions that affect my life in a more negative or positive way. 
When you are born into a family, you normally are required to follow suit with their predetermined beliefs. One major belief often inherited is religion. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints or to others, I'm Mormon. Being Mormon has affected a lot of the decisions I have made in my life. As it is such a vital important of family and personal identity, religion affects traditions and habitual practices.
When I was playing field hockey, we all braided each other's hair before every game. Our motto was "look good, play good." It may have been silly, but this helped us bond and gave us the feeling that we could do anything. Rituals help create a sense of comfort and identity, whether individually or in groups.
Having dinner around the table each night has always been an essential part of our family identity. . We would cycle through the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning. Then, we would all sit down to a home-cooked meal and discuss our individual days. This simple act created a deep sense of unity, allowing us to create a stronger bond. This also allowed the family to coordinate schedules and rides, helping to lessen confusion.
Whenever someone in my family got into major trouble, it somehow turned into the blame game. "Well, he didn't take out the trash." "Well, she broke your favorite plate." All of a sudden, all the secrets that siblings were holding onto for each other would spill out. Was this the best way to handle the situation? Probably not. But hey, mom can't punish us all, right? Oh how dead wrong we were. Or when mom would ask who's doing the dishes, we would play nose goes. Or maybe the tradition of  how the oldest gets the front set in the car. Or are family tradition of never finishing anything...

Silent Signals

Humans are the most unpredictable things that have every existed!!

I  will just offer some examples if you are wondering how. So,

There are so many different ways, we as people, interpret others around us. For example, if a guy picks up your books for you(assuming you are female) how would you react? Well, that depends on one main fact, was the guy attractive? A girl who found him attractive would think that he is the sweetest person she has ever met, on the other hand if she found him ugly then she would be repulsed and think he was a creep.
If you did not like that example, how about the way we base others on their clothes. Lets say that you are a manager of a store and a group of teenage kids who wore baseball caps and low hanging pants walked in. At that same time, a little kid with his mother walks in. Now, who would you expect to steal something from your store? Obviously the gang of guys, but guess what, it was actually the mother who stole something. She just lost her job, had no money, and needed food for her kid.

Going along with that story:
My mom would just be washing the dishes after a long day at work, and this was our cue to stay away. I personally thought that she was always upset at us for not cleaning anything while she was gone, which I am sure was sometimes the case. Later, I asked her why she would always clean the dishes when she came home from work? She replied that it relaxed her. I was clearly uniformed in what I thought was her upset and distressing face.
I could go on and on about misinterpretations in the families our with others, but I think you get the jist. The thing to pull out of this reading, is that communication is key. Not just talking, but explaining the reasons behind your actions. We should not assume we know what type of person someone is by their look. Just like we cannot assume we know how someone is feeling based on their expression. A simple smile could mean your upset or you could just be faking happiness. You will never actually know unless you ask.
The problem most people face is assuming you know what the other person is going to do, how they feel, why they did what they did. We assume to much!! I will say this one more time. STOP assuming, just ask! One time, well actually this happened way more than once, but that is besides the point. One time, my whole family was at the temple and we decided to go eat somewhere afterwards. We took about three different vehicles. They were full of family and friends (remember I am in a family of ten). Well, we got to the restaurant, got a table, ordered our food, and ate almost all our food when my mom gets a phone call. Turns out, we left my sister Melissa at the temple. No one knew because we were all sitting at different tables and we all came in different cars. My mom thought she was with my dad. My dad thought she was with my mom. But really, she was with no one. I love my family, but we are the epitome of miscommunication and wrong signal interpretations sometimes. Don't worry she was fine, and got food to make up for her bad experience. This just goes to show you,  always use the buddy system...I mean, communicate.
Another, not so scarring story, is the time when I made treats for some friends. I love making treats, but let's be honest, baking is a lot of work. So when I put in a ton of effort, I expect praise for the delicious goodness. What actually ended up happening was they denied my amazing gooey, highly fatty treat. Ohh, how crushed I was! What could I have possibly done wrong? Are they made at me? Is this the end of our friendship? Is this the end of the world? Okay, Okay, a little melodramatic, but you get the point. I had no idea what to think until I asked them. Turns out, they just started a diet and didn't want to eat the unhealthy food I baked. And on the plus side, now I know next time to get them a veggie tray.;)

Family Views

When I was little, I would go around playing with my dolls and explain to everyone how I wanted a big family. Seven kids at the most, and six kids at the least. Five kids was obviously not enough, but eight was just way too many. While I had this certain point of view on how many children you should have, growing up, I soon realized that everyone else's opinion was way different. As I went through school, I started slowly changing my mind. My idea of seven or six, went to three or four, which eventually lead to two or three children. And now I can't even decide, but lets be real I have time.

Anyway, the trends and opinions of the world affected my views on children. If it wasn't everyone's surprised face when I explained how any children I wanted, then it was definitely the world wide view of two children, a boy and a girl. The media has affected others views with comments that express children being the cause of ruined marriages and eventually divorces. Or my personal favorite, the act of having a big family is selfish. "You have created to many carbon footprints and are hogging all the resources. We have an over population problem and you are the cause." First of all selfish? I don't have kids but I babysit and know many parents with young kids. Raising a kid is anything but selfish. Second, lets all take a moment and think about the reasoning behind these statements. The whole world thinks that we are over populated. There is this agreement that in the future we will run out space to grow crops, therefore killing our source of survival, our food supply. So the solution...limit the amount of kids we have.

Now, I love numbers and I love facts. So, let me expand your knowledge and provide you with a fun fact. The truth is, yes, there are way more people on this planet than there once was at the beginning, but no we are not overpopulated. In a interesting experiment, they figured out the area of Texas and then divided it by human population. They found out that everyone in the world could fit in Texas with 2.3 acres per person. Now I don't know about you, but if we can fit in that small state with a few acres, then surely we have room for some more people. (You can read more about this in the links provided at the bottom of the post.)

I would like to share a quote with you that changed my perspective on the idea of having children or how many children I should have. It reads,

“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.” President Brigham Young

Only Four of the Eight plus DAD!

I am not saying that everyone should go out and have three more kids, but I do think it is important to realize the obligation we have. I am not married, I do not have kids, I do not understand all of the struggles that parenting implies, but I do believe that everyone should keep an open mind on the number of children you have. I was the seventh child of eight, at any time my mom could have stopped. I would have been born to another family and there is no telling who I would have become. But because my mom prayed and listened to the spirit, she was able to get confirmation that eight children was the right number for her family. All I want to leave you with is the possibility to have as many children you feel is right, because it would just be sad to think that one spirit missed the opportunity to be raised in such an amazing family.

http://www.zo.utexas.edu/courses/thoc/texas.html