Sexual Intimacy

This week I would like to diverge into a not so talked about topic. Most people avoid the topic of sex or expect someone else to teach their kids about sex. This is not to say they are in any way bad parents, I wouldn't blame them for not talking to their kids about it. But I would like to emphasize the need for parents to teach their kids, because it is prevalent to know about. You see, growing up, sex is this thing that you know about, but you never fully understand.
During the part in your life when you go through the "your body is changing" phase, I never had that specific talk with my parents. You know the one about how girls and guys have different body parts and the your body is special talk. At least that is what I figure is talked about seeing as I didn't have it. Continuing on, when I was in my high school years, when sex is most relevant, I was never given the sex talk by my parents. I learned all about my body and all about sex through the public school education system. In fifth grade they split boys and girls in different rooms, told us to sit down and listen, while they then played a video to educate us on our sexual reproductive organs. Throughout high school, I learned from the media, friends, and classmates, about sex. Ever so casually my friends would start talking about their sexual experiences at the lunch table. They would then look at me and go, "Oh honey, you're to innocent to hear about these things." Which, even though I was the same age as them, I was fine not to go into further discussion about this topic. Who honestly wants to talk about someone having sex while they are trying to enjoy a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is how I learned about sex. Clearly, I was not taught properly. But this is how most of the population learns about sex. Isn't this just sad. Not only sad but in a sense terrifying. Children are teaching children about something as intimate and personal as sex. What is misunderstood or not taught is the reality of the harmful effects in participating in such physically activities. This leads to many unsuccessful relationships.
Most do not realize the importance of intimacy. From the book Marriage and Family; The Quest for intimacy it states, "We can have intimacy without sex, but we cannot have satisfying sex without intimacy. In other words, sexual satisfaction is likely to be the result of, rather than the cause of, marital satisfaction." Or also stated in the book, "Sexual desire reflects the human need for love and union. In other words, the need for intimacy has primacy over sex." Having a meaningful relationship and feeling satisfied in the relationship will not be achieved by physical touch or sex. Sex is described as enjoyable but of little or no value, if intimacy is not involved. It ends up leaving people feeling emptier than before. This I feel is crucial lesson to learn and later on teach your kids. Make sure they understand their worth. Make sure that they know that physical touch does not show the amount of love a person has for you. That they are worth way more than just their body to someone.

A statistic I found shows a good example of how wrongly sex is being taught. The survey taken states, "One in three teens reported that they had sex in the same month or before their dating relationship began; another 35 percent reported that they initiated first sex within the first three months of their relationship" (Making a Love Connection by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy). The fact being taught or not taught is that teen couples feel that real love is based on the physical relationship they have. They do not have a better understanding of the topic to know that sex is not a good indicator of love and commitment. We must all be taught by our parents how special we are. That we deserve someone who treats us well and respects and loves us. Sex is not an indicator of how much somebody loves you, intimacy is the key factor in true love and a strong relationship.