Every Sunday our family would come home from church and sit around our round dinner table. There we would all be eating grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and talking about what we learned at church that day. As a family we loved talking and eating together but we all knew what came after the meal...Family Council. I have got to hand it to them, they were pretty sneaky. My parents knew that the best time to gather the whole family together was when we were already here for food. We were full and tired from early church so where we we sat, we stayed. There we listened.
We would begin the meeting with a game I like to call who needs to be where. When your parents have eight children, only one or two of them old enough to have a license, with only three cars, this turns into a challenging mind game. It would go something like this...Melissa, Rebecca and Nathan have marching band Monday from 7 to 9. Rebecca works 3-11 Tuesday and Thursday. Everyone has youth activity Wednesday night from 7-8:30. Nathan has soccer after school until 5:30 but has a soccer game Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Jonathan has musical practice this week. So I can pick up Melissa at 9, but who can pick Nathan up at 5:30? And on and on and on, until we have figured out who is where on what day and which parent is able to pick them up.
And if you weren't already bored from that whole activity, next we got to go over chores for the week. This was the time in the meeting where we were told how poorly we did at keeping up on chores, which was completely true, but that doesn't make you feel the best. Though hard, it was necessary to reevaluate the situation and figure out a better solution. We would switch up dishes and dinner nights so it would correspond with the nights you didn't have after school activities. Household chores would be shuffled around and consequences would be created for those who didn't complete said chores. These meetings normally ended one of three ways. Someone would storm out angry after a big argument, my mom would give up because nobody was really paying attention, or sometimes even crying. Now obviously this was not the best way to go about family councils.
Here is a link that talks about how a good council is run.
The way a council should start is first by loving complements. I know this may sound weird, but when everyone feels appreciated and cared about, a welcoming atmosphere is created. After you have talked with others, learned about what is going on in their life, and listened, you then want to have a prayer. This way we invite the spirit into our home and have his guidance with any decisions we may make. Next is the discussion. Here is where all of the important topics that need to be talked about are thoroughly discussed. During this period, it is important to get everyone's opinion on the matter and continue going around the room till the group has reached an agreement. Once the matter is settled, you then end the council with prayer. Then everyone should all enjoy refreshments afterwards so they have the opportunity to come together as a group again.
The family councils that I experienced growing up were not necessarily presented in this way. I feel, as a family, we would have been more successful if we followed an outline like this. We were able to cover all the subjects needed to have the house run smoothly, but those meetings were some of the hardest get together. I am not saying that family councils are going to become the highlight of the week, but done right, many blessings will come from it.
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